a light in the dark
a light in the dark
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Messed Up

"This isn't about the witch thing, this is about the other changes in my 
life." Willow said, Tara's worrying becoming clear.
"I-I just don't know whre I'll fit into your life when y-you - "
"When I go back to Buffy?" The angry redhead cut her girlfriend off.
All the blond could do was look at her lover with such pain and confusion 
that Willow felt guilt spreading throughout her body.
"...Is that what you think?" Willow asked.
"I-I don't know..." Tara whispered and bowed her haid, her hair covering her 
"Nether do I." The redhead confessed.
Tara looked up, "I know you l-love her Willow."
"But I love you as well!" Tears started to flow over her cheeks, "I don't 
know what to do!"
Tears also spilled from Tara's wide eyes.
"I don't know what to do, Tara!" Willow couldn't stand any longer, she 
slumped into Tara's awaiting arms and they both slid to the floor, crying.
"Ssh...It's o.k. It'll be o.k..." The blond told her and stroked her hair, 
in an attempt to clam her.
The redhead pulled back slightly, "How will it be o.k? I'm in love with two 
people!" These words sent pain directly to Tara's heart.
"You have to follow your heart, baby." She cooed, looking deep into green 
"I can't, i-it's all messed up. Why does this always happen? I don't wanna 
feel like this! Why do I feel like this?!" She fell into the blond's arms 
again, her body shaking with sobs of utter pain.
"Willow..." The slayer stepped away from her friend a little, "I don't know 
what to say..."
"Buffy, listen, I'm sorry I've ruined everything for you. I'm sorry I didn't 
tell you sooner - "
"I knew." Buffy cut her off.
"Y-You knew and you didn't say anything before?" The redhead asked, taking a 
step towards the slayer.
"Yes." She confessed, tears threatening to spill.
The witch stood in front of her love speachless, trying to understand that 
all these years that she had been in love with Buffy, she had known.
"I love you."
Willow's eyes widened and her mouth opened to say something, but no sound 
came out, so she closed it again.
"Willow, I love you." The blond walked up to her friend and took her hand, 
"I always have."
"Buffy...Oh God, Buffy..." Willow breathed, hit by this sudden information.
Buffy took the witch into her arms, wrapping them around the other young 
woman, holding her close.
"What's going to happen now?" Willow's voice was a small sqeek.
"What do you mean?"
"Tara...I - " Willow pulled away.
"...Tara, yeah." Buffy's heart fell, "I guess you have to follow your 
"Everyone's telling me that!"
Tara turned back to her girlfriend, her brow furrowed.
"Please, Tara, I don't want to lose either of you!" Willow's cheeks now 
soaked with salty tears.
The blond witch moved to her lover and used her fingertips to gently wipe 
away Willow's newest tear, "I love you honey, don't ever forget that, o.k?"
"O.k." The little rehead nodded.
The slayer walked to the door, "I can't break up you and Tara. You love her 
too much."
"But - " The witch tried to protest, but Buffy cut her off again.
"No. I love you, but no. This can't happen...I can't do this." And with that 
she opened the door to a meek looking Tara, "Take good care of her..." She 
turned back to Willow, "I'll always love you...Goodbye."
The redhead walked up to the door of the Summers' house. Buffy had moved 
back after she walked out two days ago.
Soon after Willow knocked on the door, Joyce opened it, "Willow, hey, 
Buffy's in her room." She greeted her with a smile.
"How did you - "
"She's been upset all weekend, what happened with you two?" She asked, 
inviting her in and closing the door.
"Oh...Don't worry, I'll talk to her..." The older Summers nodded her to go 
The blond was silent as she opened her bedroom door to the witch.
"We need to talk..."
"I know."
"I don't want you to move out...I don't want you to move out of my life..." 
The redhead bowed her head as she told her this.
"I don't want to either, Will. But I have to. Tara - "
"I know...Tara is my girlfriend, but I love you as well...", Her eyes wide 
with desperation.
The slayer held out her hand and touched Willow's arm, "Hey...It's o.k."
"...How is it o.k., Buffy?"
"Close your eyes."
"What?" Willow's brow furrowed.
"Just do it. Think of me, and think of Tara..."
The witch nodded and did it.
"Who are you drawn to?"
"Both - "
"No. Don't think...Feel. With your heart. Look deep inside yourself. Who are 
you drawn to the most?" The blond closed her eyes to stop the threateneing 
"...Tara." As she said the name, she fell forwards as if all of her energy 
had been drained and into Buffy's arms. Both started to shake and tears fell 
freely as they cried together. Friends once more. True friends.