a light in the dark
a light in the dark
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Taking A Risk

Spike sat in the stillness of the night. He brought the cigarette up to his 
lips and drew deep on it. The past few days had been intense and confusing. 
Why did he feel this way? He hadn't even got a soul.
He thought of Xander. Xander was just some stupid kid. Spike scolded 
himself, he knew that that wasn't true.
He had dreamed of what it would be like to bite him, to taste the hot blood 
in his mouth, to savour his true essence. He also dreamed of what it would 
be like to be close to him, to make him feel like he had never felt before.
Then he did. It was a spectacular night. Full of passion and new 
experiences. Xander had never been with a man before, let alone a vampire.
Spike smiled as he remembered their first kiss. It took the boy by surprise. 
He resisted at first, but soon melted in the strong, cool embrace. Spike 
remembered how he tasted. How he smelled. How every single inch of his skin 
glowed upon contact.
The innocence in Xander's face made Spike want to gather him up in his arms 
and hold him forever. This scared Spike. It was a new feeling that 
overwhelmed the vampire and brought a tear to his eye. The emotion this 
thought carried affected Spike in a way he thought was not possible. It 
touched his heart.
The heat had begun to rise with first contact. Each caress warming the air 
around them by degrees at a time. Spike questioned if it was magic, it had 
seemed to be at the time. He had been in a trance. Mesmerised by Xander's 
every movement. Sinking deeper and deeper with every breath.
Had Xander shared this unique experience? Spike was sure he had. This was 
confirmed when the image of Xander flooded his head. His features had told 
of how both contented and turned on he was.
Even without Spike's vampiric senses he would have been able to smell the 
arousal steaming from the young man. It had driven Spike crazy. He needed 
more contact.
His experienced hands had moved from where they rested at either side of 
Xander's head during the kiss down his neck to his toned chest. Spike felt 
like he couldn't control his actions, that some higher being was playing 
them like puppets. But he didn't care.
After smoothing over the skin, the vampire had teasingly brushed over each 
nipple very lightly with the tips of his fingers. Xander's eyes had slid 
closed as the tingles shot out within his body.
Spike was surprised at how sensual it all had been. Each kiss was 
individual, not to be left behind half-heartedly.
Spike had then dipped his head to trace down the slope of Xander's neck with 
his tongue. He had slipped into his demonic face without even noticing and 
let the tips of his sharp teeth graze along the exposed skin. Xander hadn't 
tried to stop him. Spike's frightening appearance then faded away.
They had stood there in the middle of Spike's crypt for a long time 
worshiping and exploring the top half of the other's body. Oblivious to the 
word around them. Not thinking of what was to come next, the only thing in 
their minds was each other.
The gap between them had totally gone by then. Physically and emotionally. 
Spike had felt so close to Xander, he almost felt part of him. Their bodies 
were tightly pressed together and Spike had heard him moan softly.
The vampire had returned to look into Xander's deep brown eyes, then leaned 
in for a passionate kiss.
The rest of the night had been enchanting and precious, both vampire and 
human lost in each other. Bodies moving together in a rhythmic blur. Moans 
and screams of sheer blissful pleasure had echoed into the night.
"We need to talk." Spike broke the silence. His words startled the older 
vampire; he jumped up and turned to face him. Spike took a deep breath.
"William. Nice of you to drop by." Spike could sense the bitterness in his 
voice; he took a few steps closer to him. Spike looked down to the floor, 
trying to choose his words carefully. He had thought of what to say on the 
walk over, but the words didn't make sense anymore.
Angel walked over to Spike, his heavy brow furrowed. When the blond looked 
up, he could tell Angel knew something was wrong. He swallowed hard.
"Angel," Spike started formerly, paused then quickly blurted out, "We're 
finished." He tensed his muscles awaiting his sire's reaction. To say that 
he wasn't scared would be a lie.
Spike could see Angel processing this. He could see the anger flashing 
across his face. He reached out and took hold of Spike's shoulders roughly, 
Spike felt the dark eyes bore into him as he looked down again, refusing to 
make eye contact with his former lover, "We're finished," He repeated.
Angel pushed Spike back hard, sending him crashing into the wall. The 
younger vampire looked up, frightened. He knew his sire was stronger than 
him, now more than ever. What had he done? Wasn't his place with Angel? No, 
he reassured himself, his place was with Xander.
"So, Spike," Angel spat out his name, "Who is it? Who are you willing to 
risk your 'life' to be with?" There it was. The threat that Spike knew was 
"There's no one." He lied. He heard the fault in his own voice. A deep growl 
came from the dark vampire and his face shifted. Spike drew in his breath as 
Angel lunged forward, stopping inches away from his face.
Angel sniffed. Another growl, louder this time, emitted from his throat, 
"Xander?" He shouted, his eyes growing wide with rage, "Xander?" He reached 
for Spike again and shook him.
"No!" Spike shouted back, which got him a punch to his jaw. He felt beads of 
invisible sweat on his forehead. He was taking a huge risk. But he couldn't 
stop now, and he didn't want to. He was taking a risk for Xander.
The dark vampire was furious now; "I can smell him all over you!" He lifted 
up Spike by his arm and dragged him to the door; "I never want to see you 
again!" He shoved Spike out into the late evening air. When the blond looked 
over his shoulder, he saw Angel stare him and turn to go back inside, 
slamming the door after him.
Spike let out the breath that he had been holding, and it burned in his 
chest. He had gotten away lightly.
"Spike?" Xander tugged the vampire into his basement and closed the door. It 
was late and there was a trickle of blood running from the corner of Spike's 
lip, "How did you get in?"
"Uh, your mom let me in. Xander, I came to tell you something important." He 
paused as Xander reached up and touched his fingertips to the small cut. He 
looked up to his pale blue eyes for an explanation.
"Angel. I went to see him to tell him that it's over. Then he...He found out 
about us." Xander started to say something, but Spike silenced him by 
pressing his index finder to his lips, "I'm all yours." A grin spread across 
Xander's face, sending shivers over the vampire's skin.
Slowly, Spike leaned forward and brushed his lips over Xanders'. He felt 
Xander's hands around his back and he wrapped up the young man in his own 
arms. He never wanted to let go.